![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
PIRATES 3
THIS FILM PLEASES ME ON THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL. I was literally clapping my hands in delight at several points. Highly embarrassing, but true.
Fuck, you guys, they did it. They did it, they did it, they did it, and everything that was missing from the second that I was praying they'd bring back was there, and it couldn't have been more perfect, my god. They did it.
OKAY WHERE TO START.
It's as complicated as you'd expect, which has always been the Achilles' Heel of the franchise - it is very hard to take in and digest all the subplots from one viewing alone. I shall need to see it at least once more, maybe several times, with a pen and paper, to work out just who is stabbing whom in the back at any given time. But with PotC, that is par for the course.
Never trust a pirate, after all.
CALYPSO. TIA DALMA IS THE SEA. I CALLED THAT MOTHERFUCKER THE DAY POTC2 CAME OUT. BOOYAH. Granted the transformation was a bit... uh, giant woman what?, but Tia Dalma was so wonderful in every other way that it doesn't matter.
BARBOSSA. I couldn't love him more if I tried. BARBOSSA WAS ASTONISHED TO FIND THAT WHEN JACK SAID, "YOU THIEVING BASTARD," WHAT HE REALLY MEANT WAS, "I LOVE YOU." Just sldkgjksdlfdlkjfksl;djfd. BFF. AND THE WEDDING AHAHA. And his maniacal laughter FUCK I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE BARBOSSA&ELIZABETH THEY ARE SO AWESOME.
Jack. Oh Jack. His face when Will got stabbed. His face. I can't even. Jack wants to be free from everything. Even death. And I just.
"Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Jesus, I can't be coherent.
ETA: KEITH MOTHERFUCKING RICHARDS. *SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT*
ETA: TENTACLE PORN. DEAD OF HILARIOUS. BUT WHAT ARE DAVY JONES' THOUGHTS ON YAOI?
I know what the writers' are.
Beckett to Sparrow: "But neither of us are strangers to betrayal, are we?"
On why the compass wouldn't work:
Jack: "It only points to what you want most."
Beckett: "And what is that?"
Jack: "Me."
*PAUSE*
Jack: " - Dead."
And watch Beckett get all up close to Jack trying to persuade him to turn coat. Whispering in his ear, sensuously. I was like, WOW, WRITERS. THAT'S REALLY HETEROSEXUAL RIGHT THERE.
:D
ETA:
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
[15:19] querulous rows: EHEHEHEHEHEH
[15:19] scubasoph: that was another moment of literally clapping my hands with delight.
ETA:
"Now, Jack, doan tell me ye didn' enjoy it at de time."
"Bweehehehurhur okay, fair point, you're in."
'AF'SPDOUIGOPSDFKDP'SADGKL;SA THE BEARD-TWIRLING. And RAGETTI. Speaking the words like a lover, OH. TIA DALMA/EVERY TRUE PIRATE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOY
ETA: THE WEDDING. The wedding the wedding. Not only is this just, just designed to make me explode with how much I love Barbossa, but it's just. It's so SWASHBUCKLING and ABSURD, and when Will swept Elizabeth into his arms in the middle of the battle, I was just sitting there going yes, yes, this is what pirate movies are about.
Calypso's whirlpool: even more yonic than thevagina dentata kraken, y/n?
Oh oh the bit with the dead kraken. When - god, I'm getting a little tight-chested just thinking about it. When Jack and Barbossa discuss - life, the universe, and everything. Jack sees himself in the kraken's dead eye, and not just literally. The world is changing. But Barbossa. Barbossa knows Jack, knows him so, so well, oh that conversation. He knows what to say to Jack to help Jack make the decision that Barbossa, knowing Jack, knows that Jack will eventually make.
I want a thousand fics of their once-upon-a-time friendship.
I want thousands more of them after the film ends. Wiling and thwarting and cheating and chasing and catting and mousing. That's just what they do. ♥♥♥♥♥
The ending. The ending. There could not have been anything, anything, more perfect than the last five minutes of that film. Gibbs; pouringwater rum on. Slapping, not forced at all. Barbossa cackling at the helm of the Pearl. Jack in his dinghy, the way it all began. And the inevitable discovery that once again, they need to chase each other around the Caribbean, because each has what the other needs, what the other wants.
Leverage, says you.
I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.
Da nanananana da nananana...
And really bad eggs.
This post will be updated continuously as my overloaded, overstimulated brain throws up another thing I need to spazz about.
Fuck, you guys, they did it. They did it, they did it, they did it, and everything that was missing from the second that I was praying they'd bring back was there, and it couldn't have been more perfect, my god. They did it.
OKAY WHERE TO START.
It's as complicated as you'd expect, which has always been the Achilles' Heel of the franchise - it is very hard to take in and digest all the subplots from one viewing alone. I shall need to see it at least once more, maybe several times, with a pen and paper, to work out just who is stabbing whom in the back at any given time. But with PotC, that is par for the course.
Never trust a pirate, after all.
CALYPSO. TIA DALMA IS THE SEA. I CALLED THAT MOTHERFUCKER THE DAY POTC2 CAME OUT. BOOYAH. Granted the transformation was a bit... uh, giant woman what?, but Tia Dalma was so wonderful in every other way that it doesn't matter.
BARBOSSA. I couldn't love him more if I tried. BARBOSSA WAS ASTONISHED TO FIND THAT WHEN JACK SAID, "YOU THIEVING BASTARD," WHAT HE REALLY MEANT WAS, "I LOVE YOU." Just sldkgjksdlfdlkjfksl;djfd. BFF. AND THE WEDDING AHAHA. And his maniacal laughter FUCK I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE BARBOSSA&ELIZABETH THEY ARE SO AWESOME.
Jack. Oh Jack. His face when Will got stabbed. His face. I can't even. Jack wants to be free from everything. Even death. And I just.
"Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Jesus, I can't be coherent.
ETA: KEITH MOTHERFUCKING RICHARDS. *SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT*
ETA: TENTACLE PORN. DEAD OF HILARIOUS. BUT WHAT ARE DAVY JONES' THOUGHTS ON YAOI?
I know what the writers' are.
Beckett to Sparrow: "But neither of us are strangers to betrayal, are we?"
On why the compass wouldn't work:
Jack: "It only points to what you want most."
Beckett: "And what is that?"
Jack: "Me."
*PAUSE*
Jack: " - Dead."
And watch Beckett get all up close to Jack trying to persuade him to turn coat. Whispering in his ear, sensuously. I was like, WOW, WRITERS. THAT'S REALLY HETEROSEXUAL RIGHT THERE.
:D
ETA:
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
[15:19] querulous rows: EHEHEHEHEHEH
[15:19] scubasoph: that was another moment of literally clapping my hands with delight.
ETA:
"Now, Jack, doan tell me ye didn' enjoy it at de time."
"Bweehehehurhur okay, fair point, you're in."
'AF'SPDOUIGOPSDFKDP'SADGKL;SA THE BEARD-TWIRLING. And RAGETTI. Speaking the words like a lover, OH. TIA DALMA/EVERY TRUE PIRATE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOY
ETA: THE WEDDING. The wedding the wedding. Not only is this just, just designed to make me explode with how much I love Barbossa, but it's just. It's so SWASHBUCKLING and ABSURD, and when Will swept Elizabeth into his arms in the middle of the battle, I was just sitting there going yes, yes, this is what pirate movies are about.
Calypso's whirlpool: even more yonic than the
Oh oh the bit with the dead kraken. When - god, I'm getting a little tight-chested just thinking about it. When Jack and Barbossa discuss - life, the universe, and everything. Jack sees himself in the kraken's dead eye, and not just literally. The world is changing. But Barbossa. Barbossa knows Jack, knows him so, so well, oh that conversation. He knows what to say to Jack to help Jack make the decision that Barbossa, knowing Jack, knows that Jack will eventually make.
I want a thousand fics of their once-upon-a-time friendship.
I want thousands more of them after the film ends. Wiling and thwarting and cheating and chasing and catting and mousing. That's just what they do. ♥♥♥♥♥
The ending. The ending. There could not have been anything, anything, more perfect than the last five minutes of that film. Gibbs; pouring
Leverage, says you.
I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.
Da nanananana da nananana...
And really bad eggs.
This post will be updated continuously as my overloaded, overstimulated brain throws up another thing I need to spazz about.
no subject
BARBOSSA'S MANIACAL LAUGHTER. KSADHSJAKDH *HEARTS* I noticed that in the trailer and then it happened in the film and I squealed. (Those two unfortunate children who ended up sitting beside me kept staring at me. *cries* They LAUGHED at me when Will got stabbed because I completely freaked out because, hey, that came out of NOWHERE WTH.)
Best marriage EVAR, OMG.
Also, I think I meant to say this to one but we got distracted by something else, but, god, Jack's face when first Will got stabbed and then when he put Will's hand around the dagger and helped him stab Davy Jones' heart. God. You got see him just resignedly tossing away his chance at immoirtality and then, when he helped Will to stab the heart, going, ...oh. I did that. Crap. Jaaaaaack.
I have never been so glad that fanfic exists. But I heard from my neighbour, who I met when I got off the Luas and babbled to her without spoiling, that they're considering doing a fourth one. I kind of hope they don't, though, because it's perfect the way it is. And there will always be fic.
MUST MAKE NOTES ON TRAIN. AHHHHHH. *_*
(I need a pirate icon. Daaaamn.)
no subject
*BAWLS*
This will finally be the film where the Jack/Barbossa BFF (and I chase you around the Caribbean because, hell, what else am I going to do?) fic comes FLOODING OUT. OMG.
YES YES PLEASE GOD I NEED THIS FIC.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Gibbs: (inwardly) ...why do I fall for it? every. single. time?
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
I LOVED THAT SO MUCH. BARBOSSA. MONKEY. I think I screamed, I love you, Barbossa! in my head at that point. Instead of rum jokes, apart from one or two, there was a definite peanut running joke going on there. "Oooh, a peanut!"
no subject
no subject
OR MAYBE EVEN A SUPER-GOD.
no subject
THIS EXCHANGE SAYS EVERYTHING
no cattle: no
no cattle: i guess i could
scuba soph: D:
no cattle: but i don't have anyone to see it with
no cattle: and i hate going to popcorn flicks alone
scuba soph: it's worth it. you wouldn't be able to turn away to make snide comments anwyw;idu I FORGOT
scuba soph: THERE IS TENTACLE PORN
no cattle: *SHRIEKS*
no cattle: THIS MUST BE THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER CREATED
scuba soph: IT IS IT IS
no subject
I has been spoiled. Argh.
But it's okay, 'cause now I wanna see it even more.
no subject
D:
*distressed at thought of having accidentally spoiled someone*
no subject
I couldn't resist clicking, and so it's entirely my fault. So there.
Be not distressed, O Soph! I'll forget most of what I read until it actually appears on the screen -- it's very hard to truly spoil someone with a very immediate visual brain. %]
no subject
NOW.
OMG AHAHAHAHAHAHA YES.
no subject
no subject
...And SO MANY other things that are getting their own post once I'm vaguely coherent, but. So much with the Barbossa love.
Ragetti+Pintel OTP!
Does anyone have an image of yelling Liz in the pirate captain outfit? I want to caption it "
SPARTA!!PIRATES!!" and make it an icon.Will and Liz have the cutest death-defying swordfight ever.
The only jarring thing about this movie was the previews; they're making a live action Bratz movie, and it's basically Mean Girls.
Slash up, me hearties, yo ho.
There's a bit in the commentary for DMC, right near the end, where Tia and Liz are in the same frame, and one of the writers blurts out "THEY R SO HAWT."
I'm paraphrasing, of course.
no subject
And the inevitable discovery that once again, they need to chase each other around the Caribbean, because each has what the other needs, what the other wants. YES. Where is the fic?!
Oh, but Will and Elizabeth. I didn't even realise I shipped them until the wedding, and then the ending, gah! I saw it coming but honestly didn't think the writers would do that to them. Elizabeth would not stand for it. She's not the kind of girl to wait around doing nothing but getting older for ten years while she waits for Will. She's off somewhere finding a way to travel with Will or get him back, I'm sure of it.
Good luck with the exams!