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PIRATES 3
THIS FILM PLEASES ME ON THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL. I was literally clapping my hands in delight at several points. Highly embarrassing, but true.
Fuck, you guys, they did it. They did it, they did it, they did it, and everything that was missing from the second that I was praying they'd bring back was there, and it couldn't have been more perfect, my god. They did it.
OKAY WHERE TO START.
It's as complicated as you'd expect, which has always been the Achilles' Heel of the franchise - it is very hard to take in and digest all the subplots from one viewing alone. I shall need to see it at least once more, maybe several times, with a pen and paper, to work out just who is stabbing whom in the back at any given time. But with PotC, that is par for the course.
Never trust a pirate, after all.
CALYPSO. TIA DALMA IS THE SEA. I CALLED THAT MOTHERFUCKER THE DAY POTC2 CAME OUT. BOOYAH. Granted the transformation was a bit... uh, giant woman what?, but Tia Dalma was so wonderful in every other way that it doesn't matter.
BARBOSSA. I couldn't love him more if I tried. BARBOSSA WAS ASTONISHED TO FIND THAT WHEN JACK SAID, "YOU THIEVING BASTARD," WHAT HE REALLY MEANT WAS, "I LOVE YOU." Just sldkgjksdlfdlkjfksl;djfd. BFF. AND THE WEDDING AHAHA. And his maniacal laughter FUCK I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE BARBOSSA&ELIZABETH THEY ARE SO AWESOME.
Jack. Oh Jack. His face when Will got stabbed. His face. I can't even. Jack wants to be free from everything. Even death. And I just.
"Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Jesus, I can't be coherent.
ETA: KEITH MOTHERFUCKING RICHARDS. *SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT*
ETA: TENTACLE PORN. DEAD OF HILARIOUS. BUT WHAT ARE DAVY JONES' THOUGHTS ON YAOI?
I know what the writers' are.
Beckett to Sparrow: "But neither of us are strangers to betrayal, are we?"
On why the compass wouldn't work:
Jack: "It only points to what you want most."
Beckett: "And what is that?"
Jack: "Me."
*PAUSE*
Jack: " - Dead."
And watch Beckett get all up close to Jack trying to persuade him to turn coat. Whispering in his ear, sensuously. I was like, WOW, WRITERS. THAT'S REALLY HETEROSEXUAL RIGHT THERE.
:D
ETA:
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
[15:19] querulous rows: EHEHEHEHEHEH
[15:19] scubasoph: that was another moment of literally clapping my hands with delight.
ETA:
"Now, Jack, doan tell me ye didn' enjoy it at de time."
"Bweehehehurhur okay, fair point, you're in."
'AF'SPDOUIGOPSDFKDP'SADGKL;SA THE BEARD-TWIRLING. And RAGETTI. Speaking the words like a lover, OH. TIA DALMA/EVERY TRUE PIRATE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOY
ETA: THE WEDDING. The wedding the wedding. Not only is this just, just designed to make me explode with how much I love Barbossa, but it's just. It's so SWASHBUCKLING and ABSURD, and when Will swept Elizabeth into his arms in the middle of the battle, I was just sitting there going yes, yes, this is what pirate movies are about.
Calypso's whirlpool: even more yonic than thevagina dentata kraken, y/n?
Oh oh the bit with the dead kraken. When - god, I'm getting a little tight-chested just thinking about it. When Jack and Barbossa discuss - life, the universe, and everything. Jack sees himself in the kraken's dead eye, and not just literally. The world is changing. But Barbossa. Barbossa knows Jack, knows him so, so well, oh that conversation. He knows what to say to Jack to help Jack make the decision that Barbossa, knowing Jack, knows that Jack will eventually make.
I want a thousand fics of their once-upon-a-time friendship.
I want thousands more of them after the film ends. Wiling and thwarting and cheating and chasing and catting and mousing. That's just what they do. ♥♥♥♥♥
The ending. The ending. There could not have been anything, anything, more perfect than the last five minutes of that film. Gibbs; pouringwater rum on. Slapping, not forced at all. Barbossa cackling at the helm of the Pearl. Jack in his dinghy, the way it all began. And the inevitable discovery that once again, they need to chase each other around the Caribbean, because each has what the other needs, what the other wants.
Leverage, says you.
I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.
Da nanananana da nananana...
And really bad eggs.
This post will be updated continuously as my overloaded, overstimulated brain throws up another thing I need to spazz about.
Fuck, you guys, they did it. They did it, they did it, they did it, and everything that was missing from the second that I was praying they'd bring back was there, and it couldn't have been more perfect, my god. They did it.
OKAY WHERE TO START.
It's as complicated as you'd expect, which has always been the Achilles' Heel of the franchise - it is very hard to take in and digest all the subplots from one viewing alone. I shall need to see it at least once more, maybe several times, with a pen and paper, to work out just who is stabbing whom in the back at any given time. But with PotC, that is par for the course.
Never trust a pirate, after all.
CALYPSO. TIA DALMA IS THE SEA. I CALLED THAT MOTHERFUCKER THE DAY POTC2 CAME OUT. BOOYAH. Granted the transformation was a bit... uh, giant woman what?, but Tia Dalma was so wonderful in every other way that it doesn't matter.
BARBOSSA. I couldn't love him more if I tried. BARBOSSA WAS ASTONISHED TO FIND THAT WHEN JACK SAID, "YOU THIEVING BASTARD," WHAT HE REALLY MEANT WAS, "I LOVE YOU." Just sldkgjksdlfdlkjfksl;djfd. BFF. AND THE WEDDING AHAHA. And his maniacal laughter FUCK I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE BARBOSSA&ELIZABETH THEY ARE SO AWESOME.
Jack. Oh Jack. His face when Will got stabbed. His face. I can't even. Jack wants to be free from everything. Even death. And I just.
"Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Jesus, I can't be coherent.
ETA: KEITH MOTHERFUCKING RICHARDS. *SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT*
ETA: TENTACLE PORN. DEAD OF HILARIOUS. BUT WHAT ARE DAVY JONES' THOUGHTS ON YAOI?
I know what the writers' are.
Beckett to Sparrow: "But neither of us are strangers to betrayal, are we?"
On why the compass wouldn't work:
Jack: "It only points to what you want most."
Beckett: "And what is that?"
Jack: "Me."
*PAUSE*
Jack: " - Dead."
And watch Beckett get all up close to Jack trying to persuade him to turn coat. Whispering in his ear, sensuously. I was like, WOW, WRITERS. THAT'S REALLY HETEROSEXUAL RIGHT THERE.
:D
ETA:
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
[15:19] querulous rows: EHEHEHEHEHEH
[15:19] scubasoph: that was another moment of literally clapping my hands with delight.
ETA:
"Now, Jack, doan tell me ye didn' enjoy it at de time."
"Bweehehehurhur okay, fair point, you're in."
'AF'SPDOUIGOPSDFKDP'SADGKL;SA THE BEARD-TWIRLING. And RAGETTI. Speaking the words like a lover, OH. TIA DALMA/EVERY TRUE PIRATE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOY
ETA: THE WEDDING. The wedding the wedding. Not only is this just, just designed to make me explode with how much I love Barbossa, but it's just. It's so SWASHBUCKLING and ABSURD, and when Will swept Elizabeth into his arms in the middle of the battle, I was just sitting there going yes, yes, this is what pirate movies are about.
Calypso's whirlpool: even more yonic than the
Oh oh the bit with the dead kraken. When - god, I'm getting a little tight-chested just thinking about it. When Jack and Barbossa discuss - life, the universe, and everything. Jack sees himself in the kraken's dead eye, and not just literally. The world is changing. But Barbossa. Barbossa knows Jack, knows him so, so well, oh that conversation. He knows what to say to Jack to help Jack make the decision that Barbossa, knowing Jack, knows that Jack will eventually make.
I want a thousand fics of their once-upon-a-time friendship.
I want thousands more of them after the film ends. Wiling and thwarting and cheating and chasing and catting and mousing. That's just what they do. ♥♥♥♥♥
The ending. The ending. There could not have been anything, anything, more perfect than the last five minutes of that film. Gibbs; pouring
Leverage, says you.
I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.
Da nanananana da nananana...
And really bad eggs.
This post will be updated continuously as my overloaded, overstimulated brain throws up another thing I need to spazz about.
no subject
Gibbs?"
"Aye?"
"You may throw my hat if you like."
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Now go get it back."
Gibbs: (inwardly) ...why do I fall for it? every. single. time?
[15:18] scubasoph: OH MY FUCKING GOD
[15:18] scubasoph: there is this scene
[15:18] scubasoph: where Barbossa is feeding Jack the monkey a peanut
[15:18] scubasoph: and he's like
[15:19] scubasoph: "Who's a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's daddy's good little boy."
I LOVED THAT SO MUCH. BARBOSSA. MONKEY. I think I screamed, I love you, Barbossa! in my head at that point. Instead of rum jokes, apart from one or two, there was a definite peanut running joke going on there. "Oooh, a peanut!"
no subject
no subject
OR MAYBE EVEN A SUPER-GOD.
no subject