sophistry | (no subject)

Behind the unspammy safety of the LJ-cut, the past two weeks or so have set me thinking harder than usual on the subject, and - much as I would give literally pretty much anything to be able to keep playing Crowley, I am wondering more and more if it is not time to just jack it all in and retire him. With pretty much all of his important IC relationships gone/no longer necessary/redundant/easily replaceable/etc., and considering the fact that said circumstances have made it increasingly difficult to play because of 1) the resultant upset/jealousy and 2) the complete lack of... reference? due to other characters in those relationships being Gone, and the inherent OOCness that would be playing without reference to those IC relationships *deep breath*... yeah. I don't really feel like I can contribute anything meaningful to the game, anymore. Hell, look how long it's been since I've been able to entrance-post him.

So.

I really don't want to - RP is my only escapism from [boring angst redacted], but recently, it's just brought me a hell of a lot more upset than happiness.

And it's not like, at this stage, I'd be inconveniencing anyone by taking Crowley out of the game.

So in conclusion, I have spent the day curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself. Woohoo.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't know any of the details of your experience, but - the realisation that a place you once considered all but a second home, and people who were practically family, no longer need or possibly even want you anymore is a really deeply painful and shitty one. It took me forever to leave Milliways, even after it was painfull clear that leaving was what I needed to do, because leaving behind characters and people and a place that I had loved seemed impossibly hard.

But in retrospect, I wish that I had made the decision quickly and followed through with it - dragging it out just made that painful period a hell of a lot worse in the long run. I don't know that leaving is the right decision for you, but if it is, then I can all but guarantee that doing it quickly will be easier in the long run.

The important friendships will last, I promise, and - well, there are other games than these. The end of Crowley at Milliways doesn't mean the end of RPing, or even the end of RPing Crowley.

I'm really, really sorry you're having to go through this - I hope this helps, even just a little and - well, I know it's been a long time, but if you want to talk, I'm happy to listen.