...Let's recap.

Laptop:

- keyboard coming apart under my fingers
- screen coming off at left corner
- battery life of somewhere under three minutes
- cd drive invariably eats/spits up mid-run discs; trying to actually get one to play in there in the first place is rank folly, as the alarmed shrieking noises it makes when trying to spin one should warn you
- can manage at most a handful of browser tabs and an AIM chat at any one time, despite every defrag/clean-up/etc. I can throw at it
- after one evening of good connection, and two days of mechanically doing the same reboot/reinstall/re-generate WEP keys/tinkering with settings/everyfuckingthing to try and connect at all, now picking up and dropping new wireless subscription signal at 30 second intervals; I am literally sitting beside the router scratch that, now once again refusing to connect at all despite full signal bars.

*PRIMAL FUCKING SCREAM OF UNBELIEVABLE RAGE*

Fuck you to infinity and beyond, technology. I need ALL MY MONEY to see people on the other side of the Atlantic this summer. FUCK YOU.

...Blue screen of death.

*W33PZ*

And laptop is now officially refusing to power up. In that, the power light is on, but... nothing.

Annnnnd nobody knows where the Windows XP cd is. And I can't create a bootable diskette because nobody knows where any of the laptop floppy drives are BECAUSE I'M STILL LIVING OUT OF BOXES IN THE CONSERVATORY.

WHY. IS THIS KARMIC PUNISHMENT FOR PIRACY.

D:

A bird shat on me today.